I said I didn't know but that we were all so happy it finally fell into place for him. This year he achieved so much. He is writing better, doing math and spelling closer to his grade level and generally enjoying life. That is the best part. The whole, " happy with life" thing that used to seem so elusive. I asked Mr. Ben if he remembered how he felt when he was supper medicated and he said that he only remembered barfing up a tomato. I, thankfully, do not remember this. Things are better by a long shot, but not perfect. Many days he is still in tears about something that he feels was a great injustice. It makes me think back to kindergarten when his teacher told me I needed to get that crying thing under control, because well kids who cry don't have a lot of friends. Fast forward to 5th grade and he still gets upset, he still cries, and he doesn't have a lot of friends....perhaps she was right.
His sense of humor is still intact, even on the days he cries. He tells jokes that fly over the other kids heads. Thankfully his aide Scott is ready with a laugh and a smile. I told Ben that he just needs to play the imaginary saxophone and walk away when the kids don't laugh, stealing from our favorite comedian Mike Birbiglia. He says that when a joke fails it's like playing Jazz badly. You know, like Kenny G.
There are so many memories from this year that I hope he can hang on to. The fact that he wrote a book, (seriously his handwriting) telling a whole story....unbelievable....but true. The field trip to the science museum, the report he gave on titanium, and that wonderful movie they make all the 5th grade boys watch. Yes. That happened. I spent the day he watched "THE MOVIE" in the fetal position in my living room. I was so relieved to hear that he did not ask or say anything unusual. In fact, he did have a question but he saved it for me in the privacy of the car. I was worried, but it was actually a very intelligent question. Apparently they had talked of the pituitary gland in the film and how important it is for growth and development. Ben knows that his cyst is very near the pituitary gland. He had an overwhelming fear that he would not grow, and would in fact, be a little person. I assured him that this was not going to happen, he was growing quite nicely and eating me out of house and home. He was relieved and so was I. He seems to be learning what to say, and when. I wish this were true with the rest of the world. I do still want to hang a sign from his neck some days, that reads,
"Literal translations of your comments 5 cents."
He takes everything so seriously, so does my daughter. Puts me back in that frame of mind that I need to write my, "Care and feeding of a literal child" book.
We recently had an evening with some old friends and Ben was immediately in love with their large black and white cat. The friend jokingly said to him that the cat was for sale. Ben used my calculator on my phone to estimate the cost of food and care for the cat before asking me if we could manage this purchase. I had to break it to him that the cat wasn't really for sale. I might as well have punched him. He was devastated. Seeing things like this makes me understand, how in the course of the day at school he would end up in tears. It has to be frustrating to hear people and not fully understand them.
Next year in the 6th grade I hope he can learn a little more about other people's sarcasm. He knows mine. He can learn. I also hope he finds a friend or two. I have heard that by Jr. High kids with aspergers tend to start improving in all aspects. I hope so. I am seriously tempted to follow him around when he gets to 7th grade. (That will make him popular!)
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